Today’s Lin’s Bin addressed The Green Bay Packers who come to Soldier Field this Sunday. Here is the original script which you can compare to the full audio extravaganza at 6:15pm when this Lin’s Bin airs for the second and final time.
Jason Hernandez writes
What’s your beef with Wisconsin and the Packers?
Hey, Jason, you got it all wrong. I have no beef with Wisconsin. No one fantasizes about curdled dairy products like a Lin Brehmer. My wife was born in Wisconsin. I have relatives in Wisconsin. I have no beef with Wisconsin. It’s the Packers I can’t stand.
And not to shock you, Jason, but I’m not alone. If you’re a Bears fan, you hate the Packers. If you’re not a Bears fan, what exactly are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be hiding out in the woods near Waupaca performing cheesy rituals.
Even a cursory search of the internet reveals dozens of Packer Hater websites based in different cities all over the country. Asking questions like
How can you tell if a Packer fan is mad at you? When they grit their tooth at you
What do a call a 250 lb. Packer Fan? Anorexic!
These so-called jokes are all over the net. I’m not making this stuff up. It’s out there for ya.
What do you call a packer fan with half a brain? Gifted.
On Monday January 17th 2010 The Green Bay Gazette Banner headline proclaimed “On to Chicago” except they spelled Chicago with three C’s. Chicaco. Which looks more like the name of an exotic Brazilian chocolate than the third biggest city in the country. When your article is about the NFL’s Oldest Rivalry, make sure you have the rival’s name right.
What’s MY beef with the Packers?
For me it goes back to 1921 when the Packers illegally played three Notre Dame players against the Bears. Yeah, 1921. The Classless Cheaters.
What’s my beef with the Packers? Besides their bad parody songs?
How about that twisted headhunter Forrest Gregg?
How about Packer Mark Lee tossing Walter Payton over the bench after both of them were out of bounds? Remember Lee did that to a guy whose nickname was “Sweetness.”
Have you somehow forgotten Charles Martin slamming Jim McMahon to the turf after the play was over? McMahon winds up on the DL and his sore shoulder changes the course of Bears’ history.
While Packers fans expectations approach udder fantasy. Chicago Bears fans have always taken a more realistic approach.
I can hear the Packers backers now, “But what about the great Brett Favre?”
Do you remember his emotional retirement from The Packers?
Do you remember his awkward return? And his trade to the New York Jets?
Do you remember his emotional retirement after the 2008 season?
Do you remember his awkward return to the Vikings; his attempted retirement after the 2009 season and his awkward return to the Vikings in 2010?
From Packer to punchline. From Pro Bowl Quarterback to amateur photographer.
The Green Bay Packers from Titletown, U.S.A. The last small town team. The football home of Curly Lambeau and Don Hutson. Bart Starr, Jim Taylor and the sweep. Nitschke and Vince Lombardi.
At least Packer fans realize that playoff football in January is meant to be played under God’s grey skies where steam punctuates every breath like livestock in a snowy pasture. No domes. No artificial turf. Carpets are for playing with Legos, not for football.
What’s my beef with the Packers?
I think what really bugs me is this. They just might win.
This is Lin’s Bin on XRT.