Light Barrier Stands

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(Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images)

(Photo by Christopher Furlong/Getty Images)

It  looks as if Einstein might not be denied after all. Good for him, bad for us. Even 186K per second is way too slow for us to do some serious galactic or even interplanetary sightseeing. Let’s consider some slow-time alternatives:

  1. Take mental trips. Nearly instantaneous and much more interesting. Just make sure you don’t drool or use heavy machinery during your “journey”.
  2. Consider crackpot theories. Almost as good as neutrinos and just as difficult to disprove. Bonus: no math!
  3. Pretend you already know how to go faster than light, but can’t tell anyone because the human race is not ready. Not only will people think you’re wise, but your friends will give you lots of space. (Not that kind.)
  4. Develop an immortality serum. Then, even crawly speeds will be enough to get us anywhere we want to go. Bring lots of reading material.
  5. Write (another) slow cooking book. In longhand.

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